Other Mike Upchurches




Mike Upchurch Facts:

MU Fact: There are no convicted murderers named Mike Upchurch. You need not fear being murdered when you're with Mike.


MU Fact:There are 30 Mike Upchurches in the US. Have you met the Mike in your area?



MU Fact: The first Mike Upchurch arrived in North America in 1620. Mikes have always been good at spotting trends.


MU Fact: Most Mike Upchurches reside in the Southern US. If you're in them parts, ya'll stop by and say howdy, ya hear.



MU Fact: According to the US Census Bureau, 0.19% of US residents have the first name 'Mike' and 0.004% have the surname 'Upchurch'. That means there are approximately 30 Americans who go by the name 'Mike Upchurch'.

Perhaps the biggest potential demographic for this web site is prospective employers of a Mike Upchurch conducting background checks. As a public service, Google, Yahoo and AltiVista have been used to delineate as many Mike Upchurches as possible, locating about 30 identifiable individuals, and 17 handsome photos (see above.) Mike Upchurches are a diverse group of folks of all ages and lifestyles, but we all share a common trait besides our name: we're extremely good at what we do.

You'll be lucky to have Mike Upchurch working for your company. Whether it's comedy writing, law enforcement, science, sports, music, marketing, geology, medical research, religious ministry, or plumbing and contracting, you can count on Mike Upchurch to get the job done, and done right. Since alphabetizing is not an option, Mikes are listed in order of their respective Google hits. These are all real honest to goodness Mike Upchurches, who are good citizens and fine members of their communities.

NOTE: If you are a Mike Upchurch and want to be added to the list or updated, or if you are a Mike Upchurch who wishes to be removed, please feel free to email.


Heavy Metal Bass Player
Mike "Lurch" Upchurch is a heavy metal bass player who has delivered his monster thumps in such DC bands as Short Bus, and No Control. In a recent edition of Music Monthly, Mike's band was voted best hard rock band, and Mike was voted best bassist. Way to go Mike!

Mike - Bass
Short Bus Interview
Rock Band A-Z Listing

Capt of the US Coast Guard
Capt. Mike Upchurch of the US Coast Guard is a professional fisherman, and a great outdoor writer. His fishing reports for CyberAngler are riveting "you are there" reporting, which set the standard in modern fishing reportage:


Youth Pastor
Youth Pastor Mike Upchurch of the Trinity Church in Oregon is a devoted family man who is dedicated to the youth of the church. Mike's a by-the-book kind of guy - the Good Book, that is. Mike knows his Bible forwards and backwards, and can quote long passages of scripture from memory, but he doesn't like to show off because pride is, after all, a sin. God Bless you Mike!

Trinity Covenant

Academic Clinical Researcher
Academic Clinical Researcher, Mike Upchurch would probably be the highest scoring Mike Upchurch on any standardized IQ test. Mike is investigating Cholesterol- lowering statins that have been shown definitively to lower cholesterol, and thus the risk of arteriosclerosis. Apparently, Mike's got a little thing he's been working on in the back of his mind called A CURE FOR HEART DISEASE. If anybody can do it, Mike Upchurch will. Check out these articles Mike wrote. Dude, you're smart:

Center for Education Therapeutics& Research
Duke Clinical Research Institute

Professional Recreational Hiking Guide
Mike Upchurch is a professional recreational hiking guide and outdoor enthusiast from Sacramento. If we ever hold a Mike Upchurch Triathlon, this Mike is the favorite to win. Mike was an activity director at a professional recreation company for several years, and has a Master's Degree in Commercial Recreation. If you ever go on a hike in the wilderness you want Mike along not only to explain all the flora and fauna, but because Mike can guide the party using the stars. And if, theoretically, it were a cloudy night and someone were injured, Mike could build a compass using a jar lid, a twig, and foil from chewing gum. He's that good. Mike is endeavoring to build California's biggest indoor bike trail in his spare time. It's an ambitious project, but Mike is up to the task, and it will be F'ing awesome when it's done! Mike is owner and manager of Mad Cat Bicycles, which is the only place you need to go for your biking needs:

Mad Cat Bicycles
The Skills Factory

Rugby Star
High school Rugby star Mike Upchurch recently helped the Barbarians score two wins. Way to go Mike! Go Go, Bar, Bar, Bar-Barbarians!

Gurkhas Rugby Club

Karaoke Singer
Mike Upchurch, who hails from the Midwest, was captured on film recently singing Karaoke to an audience of rapt listeners. You'd never know it, but Mike Upchurch has the voice of an angel. Not just any angel, but an angel from the best-paid choir in heaven:

Midwest Beat E-zine

Builder, Plumber and Contractor
Mike Upchurch is a builder, contractor, and Vice President of Upchurch Plumbing in Greenwood MS. Mike was just named "Construction Person of the Year" by nations largest chapter of the Association of Builders and Contractors (ABC.) Upchurch Plumbing is a leading plumbing contractor in the Southern US, with major contracts including the Mississippi Valley State University, Coahoma County Courthouse, Vicksburg Convention Center, Delta State University, and many more. Use Upchurch Plumbing for all your plumbing needs:

American Subcontractors Assoc.
Mississippi Business Journal

Volunteer of the Year
Mike Upchurch of Nashville, Tennessee was voted Nashville Technology Council's Volunteer of the Year. His dedication is an inspiration to us all. (You non-volunteer Mike Upchurches get off your cans and follow Mike's example) Mike's the glue that holds together the technology community in Nashville, and he's also the owner of Partner 2 Partner Communications:

Nashville Technology Council
Bondware Solutions Profile

Co-founder of Blueberry Marketing, Mike Upchurch, could market snow to Eskimos, and has several accounts in Alaska to prove it. Seriously, Blueberry Marketing is a highly respected international marketing company with clients ranging from punk rock record labels to artists to snowboard outfitters. They focus on increasing the market penetration of their clients with unmatched dedication:

Blueberry Marketing

Grounds Keeper
Mike Upchurch is the Director of Buildings and Grounds for Center Grove Community School Corporation. If you've ever been to any of the Center Grover Community Schools, you know how finely manicured and well kept up they are - which can only be credited to the excellent work done by the Buildings and Grounds Department. Nice job, Mike!:

Center Grove Community School Corp.

Racecar Driver
Talladega Gran Prix Raceway is co-owned (with his brother David,) by Mike Upchurch. Don't even think of racing Mike Upchurch, cause Mike will blow past you so fast you'll look like you're going backwards. Mike just took the First Quarter Cup at Daytona the second time in a row! Atta boy, Mike! If you ever need some track time for your hot rod, call Mike at the Talladega Gran Prix Raceway he'll give you a fair rate and he'll let the clock run just a little past, cause he's cool like that:

Talladega Gran Prix Raceway
Road Racing World

The bad guys better beware when Knox County Sheriff's Detective Mike Upchurch is on the case. Here's a report on the trial of accused serial killer "Zoo Man." Detective Mike testifies in order to put that scumbag in jail for a long time:

Court TV Article

Mike W. Upchurch is Chief Financial Officer and Executive Vice President of Kansas City Southern Railway Company. KCSR has been consistently recognized for its employee safety record, and has consistently won the The E. H. Harriman Award for rail safety on Mike's watch. And, as everyone knows, Mike made the trains run on time:

KCSR Stock Listing
Business Journal

Potter Maniac
10-year-old Potter Maniac, Mike Upchurch, is shown in these CNN and USA Today reports enjoying his new copy of "Order of the Phoenix." Mike's also tackled Tolstoy's War and Peace, which you'd think is impressive enough for such a young man. Then Mike tells you that he liked it better the second time through! Good job Mike!

USA Today

Risk Manager
Mike Upchurch is Director of Risk Management at Greeley Schools. Mike should post this on his door: "You can't be too careful in the Risk Management Dept." Haha, that's why I'm the comedy writer. (You can use it, Mike - free of charge.) Seriously, Mike is a valuable part of the Greeley School System and his work helps keep the facilities in top shape, and the children and teachers safe. We're glad your looking out for us, Mike:

Greeley Schools

Virtual Mike
Mike Upchurch is a fictitious character that lives in a "virtual community" called "Misc.writingville" Check out where this virtual Mike Upchurch lives: "Impeccable Manor is a sprawling estate that is home to Mike Upchurch and his Perpetual Party. Nude sunbathers enjoy the immense deck overlooking the lake. The fencing salon upstairs features strips for both literal and figurative duels. A home cinema shows movies based on great works of literature." Wow, why couldn't I have been born as that imaginary Mike Upchurch!:

WritingVille (defunct)

Geologist, Mike Upchurch does surface surveys of ore deposits for the Dept of Natural Resources. What the average person thinks is dirt, Mike can classify into 37 different sub-categories of dirt:

Academic Pro Journal (into the ether)

18 year old New Jersey resident, Mike Upchurch is an artist and filmmaker. Mike's writings convey a poet's soul, a journalist's sense of detail, and a comedian's wit. Mike is currently working on an ambitious film project that's so large in scope that it could be called a "mini-series." Mike's diverse interests including music, creative writing and poetry, and he's immensely talented at all of them. If Martin Scorsese and Dorothy Parker had kids who formed a punk band, that's Mike.

Mike's Holding Cell

DEA Agent
Miami-based DEA Agent Mike Upchurch helped bring Columbian drug lord "the Chemist" to justice. You are high if you think you can get high in Miami when DEA agent Mike Upchurch is on the clock:

Counter Drug Press Summary (500K Downloadable Word File)

Sporting Enthusiast
Kayaker and sporting enthusiast, Mike Upchurch's motto is "kayak or die." I hope that's not an order Mike, I'm not a good swimmer, so technically I'm capable of both. (Hey, are you the same Mike Upchurch who does triathlons? You made the list twice, dude you're an animal!):

Boater Talk

Mike Upchurch is President and CEO of Sturm Foods of Manawa, Wisconsin. Sturm Foods produces hundreds of fine quality food products. Mike only eats Sturm's food products and wouldn't have it any other way, because it's good food made from the best ingredients found anywhere:

Sturm Foods

Technology and Software Writer
Mike Upchurch is a technology and software writer in the UK. Mike stays so close to the cutting edge he sometimes slips past it and reports back with important info. Mike has predicted future trends before and he'll do it again, so listen to him now and believe him later. Mike spells British, so he's a rare Mike in the tradition bound UK, which is over run by Michaels. Here's an article by Mike:

Evolving Times Article

Mike Upchurch is President and founder of Business Machines Incorporated. Mike started the company in 1976 selling typewriters and calculators and built it into a major supplier of Gestetner copiers today. The company just purchased a building near the Raleigh Durham Airport. The buzz: BMI is the new IBM:

Business Machines Incorporated

Teacher, Drummer
Mike Upchurch and his son Mike are the first known father/son Mike Upchurch team. Elder Mike (aka "Silver Fox) is a recently retired English teacher who was voted Who's Who among high school teachers 10 times. Mike was also known by his students unofficially as the Coolest Teacher in America, but not because he was a slide. Mike is also an accomplished musician and songwriter, who has assembeled a band that will redefine mellow rock. Musical talent runs in the family, as younger Mike (aka: MJ) is a virtuoso professional drummer who resides in Florida. Young Mike is a man about town, and a well known ladies man - and, that's among his musician friends, so you know Mike's gotta be a world class casanova.

The Final Fling Band

WRAL TV 5 Staff Engineer is the super capable Mike Upchurch. Mike can tell if the TV monitor is calibrated to the seventh decimal point, and he doesn't even have to look at the oscilloscope, he's that good.:


News Group Junkie
Mike Upchurch, of Google Groups posted hundreds of detailed emails on various political and sports topics from June 17th 1996 to Mar 20th 1997. Whatever happened to him? Mike used a signature that included this quote:
"Every action is measured by the depth of the sentiment from which it proceeds." --Ralph W. Emerson
Who could argue?:

Mike Google Groups Search

Mike Upchurch is an adult in his 30's who enjoys going to bed every night dressed in diapers, and is not afraid to announce it on message boards pertaining to said subject matter. NOTE: I hesitated mentioning Diaper Mike for fear of casting suspicion upon all Mike Upchurches, but there's equal deniability among all of us. It could be a joke perpetrated by a co-worker, since there's only one post and few details.
(NOTE: it's not me.)

--link withheld for privacy

Ebay Auctioneer
Mike Upchurch probably makes good money selling toys on ebay because he has hundreds upon hundreds of listings. Mike's only ever had one complaint as a seller, and it was retracted a week later, with many accolades to Mike as a fine salesman and super guy. As always, if you have a problem with a Mike Upchurch product, Mike will make it right:

Customer Praise

Roll Call
I'm looking for an African American Mike Upchurch. I was disappointed that my Google image search did not turn up a Mike Upchurch of color. There are many black Upchurches: Denver Bronco Running back Rick Upchurch, and Phillip Upchurch one of the great modern jazz bass players. So, YO, what up, Mike? Where you at? Send me your pic. Peace.

Michael Upchurches have more overall Google hits than Mikes, (884 vs. 427 respectively) I won't catalogue them, because the Michael Upchurches can get their own internet custodian if their so fancy.

Michaels pay more attention to details than Mikes, like full pronunciation of their first name. They also button the top button on their shirts, and they keep their place picked up, unlike a lot of us Mikes. We Mikes could learn a thing or two from the Michaels, if we'd just pay attention long enough to let it sink in. In fact, if most of us Mikes checked our birth certificates, we'd find that we were born Michaels. But, for us Mikes, life is too short to for that interminable extra syllable, not to mention having to correct people who would shorten our name anyway. We have only goodwill and best wishes for the Michaels, and support them in their decision, for theirs is a tougher road.

But, make no mistake, if push were to come to shove, we Mike Upchurches are a wily bunch, and we'd have no problem taking on and defeating those effete muffin-eating Michael Upchurches. But, let's put the rancor behind us, and celebrate a couple Michael Upchurches, who have done the Upchurch name well:

First Upchurch in America
The first Upchurch in America was Michael Upchurch. He was born in Essex England in 1620, and immigrated to the New World from Gidding, England to Virginia in Colonial America, where he eventually became a tobacco farmer. In 1673, he and 14 fellow members of the Lawnes Creek Parish Church took part in the first organized tax revolt in North American history. The "Lawne's Creek Insurrection" is probably the most significant tax revolt in US history, but it was upstaged a few years later by another tax revolt that involved the gimmick of dumping tea into a harbor. Michael died at Lawne's Creek in Surray County, Virginia in 1681. He may be buried in the graveyard at the parish church. There are old stones there which cannot be deciphered. Francis Upchurch (his wife) died in 1691.

Genealogy Index

Novelist, Literary Critic
Michael Upchurch is a novelist and literary critic. His novels include "The Flame Forest" (Ballantine Books,1989) and "Passive Intruder" (W.W. Norton, 1995). Michael's an accomplished writer, whose work has been in The New York Times, the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, American Scholar, Atlantic Monthly, San Francisco Chronicle among other publications. Michael is currently resident Literary Critic for the Seattle Times. Michael's novels provide an opportunity for all of the folks on this list to gain unearned status as a "Man of Letters." We can all put his books on our mantle to score with the ladies. Hope you don't mind, Michael.

Seattle Times' List of Critics
Michael's Books


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